wow, i’m really behind on blogging. May has been incredibly intense, emotional, and busy. More on our escapades later. I just needed to write a second.

This is our first weekend home in over a month and despite not feeling well, we are making great progress on house projects. Michael has fixed the garage door and the sprinklers, caught up on a month’s worth of yard work and mail, and is now in the process of fixing our backyard fence to be 3ft higher now that our lovely dog has decided to start jumping the current fence to attack passing dogs. (ugh).

My main project has been (and continues to be) the nursery. I’m in my 7th month now and starting to finally realize the reality of the coming of this baby. (we’re kind of freaking out). We decided that we are going to wait until Clara is 2ish to move her in with Geneva, which means she deserves thought put into her own space. I was going to just exchange a crib for my desk in my office, but it’s become clear that’s not going to work. So I’ve been somewhat frantically putting together a nursery, and a theme. I love what is taking shape, and can use a great deal of what I already have, but need enough new things that it feels remarkably new, and specially for Clara. That’s fun.

That being said, I’m taking apart my office. For those of you who’ve spent time there, you know it’s not just an office, it’s an explosion of my heart, memories, and passions. There’s not anything in there that doesn’t feed my soul or spur me on to Life and Truth and Godliness. Anyway, a few minutes ago I found myself crying uncontrollably at putting it mostly away in a house in which I’m still living. I need reminders of my testimonies, we all do, and reminders of my mom and her exhortations in my life. I think b/c of the way my life has been in this season, it’s always been a soothing comfort to have a room that’s always clean, always decorated, always peaceful, always free of distractions and easily conducive of bringing in the Spirit of God. And on days where I feel too weak to exhort myself, it’s been strengthening to have a place full of the Scriptures and the encouragements of my army of friends. And I think in these years where I’ve felt so alone, the things in this room always reminded me I was the furthermost thing from it.

I’m glad to give the room to Clara, I’m just having a little bit of a “lost in my own home” moment. You know that quote from The Quiet Man about “having her things about her”? I really only feel truly that way in this room.

I’ll be fine and get creative, and I am very aware of the Holy Spirit who is with me is also purposed for me as my Encourager. Just needed to cry it out to you lucky readers.